Stories, Truths, and Videotape.

*First ever blogger editor’s note: I know I said one of the goals for this blog would be making you laugh. I promise that’s still true. It’s just not gonna be this one. Or maybe even the next one. But probably, maybe, at some point.

So last night I did something. I did something that others might think is weird, possibly even morbid: I took a few hours out of my Sunday and videotaped an interview with my parents. I sat my mom down first, asked her a list of questions, and videotaped the answers. Then I videotaped her and my dad together, and then just my dad solo.

First I asked them things about their childhood, and their parents, and what the heroes of their youth looked like. When I got them together, I asked them about their relationship – when they knew the other was the one, what their favorite moment from their wedding was, and any insight they had into why they’re still happy 35 years later. Separately, I asked things that ranged from as simple as their favorite movie and food, to things as complicated as their biggest regret, what they’re most proud of, and what they want my sister and me to remember of them when they’re gone.

Parts of it were tough and emotional, others were hilarious, but the whole thing was generally awesome. I heard stories I had heard 1,000,000 times (the “classics”) and new ones that made me raise my eyebrows and lean in. Throughout it all, I listened intently and encouraged them to elaborate, to follow the tangents and threads of memories. My dad was better at this portion than my mom (he is a natural story teller), but from both of them I heard new things and shared memories and laughs and had important moments. I learned that my name was almost Janet (after my grandma), that my mom took like 4 trips carrying firewood on their wedding day, and that my dad thinks I make really good life and people decisions.

It was emotional for many reasons, least of which was that we recently found out my mom has Alzheimer’s. So where I originally wanted to do this out of sheer selfish desire to always have a piece of my mom and dad, it became a little bit of a desire to preserve my mom as she is now, before the disease takes more of her than I want to see evidenced on a video. It became a love letter for my parents and from my parents and OF my parents. And to be honest, some of my favorite moments are of just that… them being them as they are. Not answering questions but interacting with one another when they didn’t know I was videoing: teasing each other, taking care of each other, and always, always, making the other laugh. That is the magic of our family. THEY are the magic of our family. And now I have it on tape so that others, grandkids, great great great grandkids, can see it for themselves. I can look back and see things like the way my mom looked at my dad, and the cadence of my dad’s tapping foot, and the way they just love me so very, very much.

….If you hadn’t guessed, I highly recommend you do this. Take the time and ask the questions and reap the benefits of knowing that there are stories, memories, and voices that don’t have to go when your parents do. It was an incredible thing to share with them, and in the hopes that other people get to experience it to, I have shared below the interview questions I asked them, in case you want to try this out for yourself but don’t know where to start.

Let me know how it goes if you end up doing it! I’d love to hear your stories.

Interview Questions

1. Favorite Childhood memory? What was your childhood like?
2. Short version of what your parents were like.
3. Who was your hero growing up, the person that most inspired you?
4. How would your parents have described you?
5. What were you like in high school?
6. Favorite movie and why?
7. Favorite book?
8. Favorite food/drink?
   1. Favorite meal you’ve ever had?
   2. Best wine you’ve ever had?
9. If you could only listen to one song or one artist for all time?
10. How did you know dad/mom was the one and when? (Together)
11. What do you remember most about your wedding day? (Together)
12. What was your second choice for my name/Kim’s name? (Together)
13. Funniest moment with me as a kid/with Kim as a kid? (Together)
14. Favorite memory with each other? (Together)
15. Best trip they ever took and why?
16. What do you wish you’d told your younger self?
17. What was the most pivotal moment in your life? A fork in the road or a decision that set you firmly on the path to who you are today?
18. Favorite place you have lived?
19. What were you doing when you were my age?
20. What advice would you give your 40-year-old self?
21. What do you wish you made more time in your life for?
22. What do you wish you spent less time doing?
23. What family tradition do you cherish the most?
24. What happy memory will you cherish forever?
25. What have you always wanted to tell me, but haven’t had the courage to?
26. If you had to do it all over again, would you pursue the same career path?
27. What is your biggest regret?
28. What amazes you most about society nowadays?
29. What do you miss most about the ‘old days’?
30. What is something you want to do or see before you die?
31. What would you want to tell your grandkids about me?
32. What would you want to tell your grandkids about yourself
33. Looking back at your life thus far, what are you most proud of?
34. What did you discover in the last decade or two that you wish you discovered sooner?
35. What have YOU always wanted to ask ME?
36. When you’re gone, what piece of advice do you want me to always remember?